"Better a day in Your courts than a thousand elsewhere!

"10 Better a day in Your courts than a thousand anywhere else. I would rather be at the door of the house of my God than to live in the tents of wicked people. 11 For the Lord God is a sun and shield. The Lord gives grace and glory; He does not withhold the good from those who live with integrity. 12 Happy is the person who trusts in You, Lord of Hosts!" Psalm 84:10,12 (HCSB)

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Have you ever felt this way? I so identify with David in this Psalm. I would much rather spend time with Him than anything the world could offer. He is my God and I am His child, His sheep, His.

You see, God and I have had a relationship for a very long time. I knew Him before I finally accepted Him as my Savior at the age of 7. I fully believe the intimacy of my relationship with God began in the womb, but became a part of who I am when I was three.

I have no memories of this time, but I know that I took something special away from the experience. At the age of 3, I had pneumonia and developed a fever. My mother, believing the old school notion of covering up the child when the chills come, piled blankets on me until I began to have convulsions.

I was run quickly to the hospital where they stripped me down and threw me on ice, trying to bring down the fever, which had risen to 108º! The fever was brought down to 105º where it stayed for the next three days. I remained in the hospital for 11 days. I can only imagine the fear that must have coursed through my little body.

The health care professionals thought I would be a vegetable. They were wrong. I am a viable, intelligent human being. A couple of issues happened because of the fever, but my brain managed to create new pathways to cope. This, my friends, is definitely a God thing!

So, why do I attribute my special relationship with my God to this time? I firmly believe God was there, holding me through the entire experience. I developed a trust that cannot be explained in the usual manner, and had conversations (prayers) with God from early on. He has always been the one for me through everything.

He walked with me through the hazards and joys of my entire life, always giving me what I needed, when I needed it. Always showing me His hand and bringing me to the things I needed, good or bad, to become the best Angie I could be. I don’t know for sure that this early relationship with God is unusual, but from what I know from others, it is. Some feel called from an early age, but not very many have what I had and have.

God and I have had so much fun building the God stories in my life. I do long for the day when we can be face to face forever without the baggage that life brings. I don’t know what He has for my future while still on earth, but I do know what He has for my forever future. Whatever He has, I trust Him and He has always been faithful, so I don’t need to worry – He’s got my back!

Grandchildren and Other Stuff

Nothing profound or even witty to discuss today, well, we'll see. I've had my two youngest grandchildren with me since last Saturday night, and the rest came in last night. All week, Roland, at 2 1/2 has been struggling with jealousy of his baby sister, Marilyn, almost 4 months.

He had to sleep in aunt Karen's room instead of gma's bed. He had to let HIS gma hold baby sissy. He had to allow her to sit in his high chair. AND he was NOT happy. He adores his 'baby sissy nudder one', but he's not willing to give up his place with his grandma.

So, Roland, welcome to the real world. It doesn't take long for life to come along and start teaching lessons, and with the distorted thinking of children, it's a wonder we don't all turn out more screwed up than we are. Roland is learning that he has to share. I hope he's also learning that no one can take his place in my heart. Grandma's heart will just expand to include Marilyn, along with Roland and Klarissa and Kerstin and any others that come along.

Why is it that we, as adults, are often still learning the same lessons? Max Lucado writes in one of his books how God sees each of us individually. For example if I look at a large group of children, I see a large group of children. A couple of them may stand out for one reason or another and capture my fleeting attention, but in general, I will see the group and not the individuals.

Now take one of my grandchildren and put him or her into the group. Can you guess what happens? Suddenly this is still a group of children, but one of them captures my attention and holds it. No matter what the other children do, no matter how cute or funny they are, my attention always comes back to that one special child that belongs to me and has ties to my heart: my grandchild!

God sees us as that 'my child' in the crowd too. It's hard to imagine how He can do that, but He is bigger than our understanding and capable of much more than we. And with God, He sees each one of us that way - laughing at our antics, thinking how adorable we are, etc. - as each individual stands out from the crowd. God doesn't see us as just another person, he sees us as HIS! Wow! I just hope my grandkids can understand that some day - about me and about God.

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Life Lessons from Exodus 3:2-8

2 And the angel of the LORD appeared unto him in a flame of fire out of the midst of a bush: and he looked, and, behold, the bush burned with fire, and the bush was not consumed.

The refiners fire may keep us in the flames, but we will not be consumed. Just as the bush was on fire and yet not burnt, God keeps us in the flames of His refining process, so that we will come out burnished, clean and usable rather than scorched or destroyed.

3 And Moses said, I will now turn aside, and see this great sight, why the bush is not burnt.

When we come out of the fire unscathed, it attracts the attention of others. They wonder how this person can go through such things and come out whole and better rather than broken and bitter. This gives the Christian the opportunity to share the God who took them through the fire and offer hope to those who don’t have God’s help in their own circumstances.

A friend recently had a man ask her how she could have gone through all the things that have happened to her in her life and come out without a bitter bone in her body. She had the opportunity to share that, even though there were times of bitterness, lack of faith and fear, God brought things, friends, Words, ect. into her life to grow her through it and bring her safely to a point where she can praise her God for everything, knowing He used it to make her the wonderful lady she is. He also used it to fashion her into an instrument of His, a tool for Him to use, to help many other people find the way through as well.

4 And when the LORD saw that he turned aside to see, God called unto him out of the midst of the bush, and said, Moses, Moses. And he said, Here am I.

When others become curious about the things they see that do not make earthly sense, God uses those moments to get their attention and draw them to Him. As you walk through the fire unscathed, others will marvel and seek to have what you have: Jesus!

5 And he said, Draw not nigh hither: put off thy shoes from off thy feet, for the place whereon thou standest is holy ground.

When we approach that place of wonder and curiosity, we are standing on holy ground, for this is where we meet our God. He uses, not just our life events, but our reaction to life events to bring others to a point where they can listen to Him with open minds and open hearts. What is more holy than a person meeting God?

6 Moreover he said, I am the God of thy father, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob. And Moses hid his face; for he was afraid to look upon God.

God’s name is I AM, and HE IS! The reason we can go through the fire is that we don’t do it alone. I Am is with us! I Am the protector, I Am the comforter, I Am the need meter, I Am.... Whatever we need, that He is to us: the great I AM!

7 And the LORD said, I have surely seen the affliction of my people which are in Egypt, and have heard their cry by reason of their taskmasters; for I know their sorrows;

The great I AM who takes us through the fire without allowing us to be destroyed, hears our prayers and knows when we are afflicted. He knows our sorrows and weeps with us when we hurt. He never said we would never be afflicted, in fact, He said we would face persecution, but He also promised we would never have to go it alone. He also made this promise: “28And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” (Romans 8:28) We can know He hears, cares and works all into His great plan.

8 And I am come down to deliver them out of the hand of the Egyptians, and to bring them up out of that land unto a good land and a large, unto a land flowing with milk and honey

God will deliver us. It will be in His way and in His time, but He will be with us and bring us through to the other side. This writer can tell you from experience that the other side is a wonderful place to be. It brings a firmer faith and a more intimate knowledge of God along with a host of other wonderful things.

While I have taken liberties with this passage, everything spoken here is found in God’s Word. He is all we ever need, and if we love and serve Him, We will go through the fire without being consumed. Instead we will find ourselves the object of wonder as others want to know how we made it through. And this is our perfect opportunity to tell them: we didn’t, God did!

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Marilyn Matters

Last Friday, I attended the going away celebration of my dear friend, Melissa. God had given her 10 years, fighting cancer but living, to spend with her family. But last Sunday, May 23, 2010, He gave her ultimate healing by taking her home to be with Him.

During the open mike portion of the celebration, I had given a brief account of a story and poem I had once shared with Melissa as a segue to sharing how this dear friend had the gift of making others feel that they mattered. Later, the pastor read a testimony Melissa had given in a much earlier service during another bout with the cancer that would eventually take her. In that testimony she had shared the story and how it and others had impacted her.

I thought I would share that story to the best of my ability here today. Shortly after my brother’s death in 2003, my mother, Marilyn Masters, discovered she had a rare and aggressive form of uterine cancer. She had surgery, but later found the cancer had already metastasized. She endured chemo for a while and was eventually sent home to hospice and given 6 months to live.

She lived 11 months, and her story would take up a few pages, but we’ll save that for another post. For this one, I will point out that Mom had a period of time, in her grief for her son and her worry over what her own death would do to my father, she wondered if she really mattered. Did she really make a difference in people’s lives for the Lord? Was God pleased with her? Did she really matter?

During this time, showcasing God’s wonderful sense of humor, Mom kept receiving those address labels places send free with a plea for money. The odd thing was that each one of those labels arrived (from different places) with, not the name Marilyn Masters, but Marilyn Matters! One missed letter sent a message to Mom that she could not ignore: Marilyn Matters! Our God is so good.

The following is a poem I wrote for my mother during this time and later replaced the name to send to Melissa. I wrote this poem so that anyone could substitute their own name and hang on to the knowledge that they, too, matter very much to God.

Marilyn Matters!

My friend, I trust you to our Lord,
For I know: Marilyn Matters!
He made you special in His plan
For He knows: Marilyn Matters!
Each day, each pain, He chose for you
‘Cuz He knows: Marilyn Matters!
So as you rest beneath His wings,
Remember: Marilyn Matters!
As each loving detail falls into place,
Remember: Marilyn Matters!

By Angela Masters Young © 2005

Maybe you wonder about your significance in this world at times, but God and I want you to know that you matter very much. God has a plan for you; He created you for a special purpose, and He walks with you through whatever that plan entails, holding you, loving you, singing over you in joy as He works out His perfect plan for you – because you matter!

You may use this poem (changing the original name), but please give me credit for it if you do. May God richly bless you!

This poem was included in a blog post by Amanda DeCosta. Her post can be viewed here.

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Tears Fall

Today I find out my friend is no longer responding. Death hovers over her, awaiting it's moment. But death will have no sting because she is one of God's beloved children. Her body will remain here, but her spirit and soul will soar to the heavens to be with her Savior and all who have gone on before. We will weep our selfish tears, but underneath will be joy and the peace that passeth understanding, knowing the coming reunion and the joy she now feels, having left cancer and pain behind to dance in the light of God.

Tears Fall

Tears fall like rain from these eyes in pain;
Seeping out from the never-ending well.
And God collects them one by one,
Saving them with those that fell before.
I feel His arms holding me tight,
Offering His comfort and strength,
To His broken-hearted, hurting child.
Then I realize my tears are not alone;
The tears of God fall next to mine.
He weeps, not for me, but with me,
Not withholding the pain I feel, but
never leaving my side through the storm.
The pain will pass, my tears dry up,
And life will continue on.
But this time with my God will
Change me forever as I rest in
His faithfulness once again.

Prose by Angela Masters Young c 2010

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Numbness arrives: God is still good!

From tears, tears and more tears to numb, the cycle of grief continues. Denial isn't possible for me, but I wish it were. I'd like to believe no one I love would ever die of cancer. I'd like to believe no one I love would have to watch someone he or she loves die of cancer. I'd like to believe a cure will be found in the next 24 hours. Yes, this is what I'd like to believe.

The reality, however, is that cancer strikes everyone sooner or later, either through a personal journey with it or watching a loved one go through it. Maybe it's just me, but it seems that cancer is on the rise. I don't know, but it is certainly in the rise in my relational sphere. Another wonderful lady I met at a support group passed away last month. A beautiful, godly friend passed away a couple days ago from brain cancer. A cousin is fighting the battle as we speak. Add these to the names in the last post, and you still don't have the full picture.

I don't honestly know how I am going to deal with the impending death of one of my dearest friends, a beautiful, godly ray of sunshine in an often dark world, but I know from experience that somehow I will. I may not understand it, but God always comes through, not when I want it, but when I need it.

Thank you, Father, for being the unchanging, merciful God you are! Because you have shown me your love, mercy, peace, forgiveness and more through the trials of life, I have learned that I can lean wholly on you at all times for all things. I thank you for those trials because they have brought me to a deeper understanding of your love and deepened my relationship with you. When I face pain or uncertain days, I take the time to look back and remember all those other times when I didn't know how I would go on, and there you were!

Sometimes you cried with me; sometimes you laughed as you heaped unexpected blessings in humorous ways; sometimes you just walked beside me, hand in hand, lending your silent support; sometimes you picked me up and held me in your comforting arms; always, you were there!

Precious Lord, take my hand
Lead me on, let me stand
I am tired, I am weak, I am worn
Through the storm, through the night
Lead me on to the light
Take my hand precious Lord, lead me home

When my way grows drear
Precious Lord linger near
When my life is almost gone
Hear my cry, hear my call
Hold my hand lest I fall
Take my hand precious Lord, lead me home

When the darkness appears
And the night draws near
And the day is past and gone
At the river I stand
Guide my feet, hold my hand
Take my hand precious Lord, lead me home

Precious Lord, take my hand
Lead me on, let me stand
I'm tired, I'm weak, I'm lone
Through the storm, through the night
Lead me on to the light
Take my hand precious Lord, lead me home

--lyrics by Rev. Thomas A. Dorsey (1899-1993), melody by George Nelson Allen (1812-1877).http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Take_My_Hand,_Precious_Lord

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Cancer stinks, but God is good!

Today I found out a dear friend is going on hospice care. She has been fighting cancer for over 10 years, and her body is just too tired to fight any more. Another writing friend just lost her husband to cancer. My best friend from childhood is watching her father die of cancer right now too. I lost my beloved mother and grandmother to cancer. The list goes on.

In each case, the type of cancer was different, but it really doesn't matter what type it is. I hate all cancer, and I hate what it does to people, taking lives much too early. This insidious growth starts small and spreads, taking over until it gets a vital organ and takes its victim. Despite major loads of cash going to research a cure, it still claims lives every day.

Do I have a point? I don't know. I just know the grief is so overwhelming sometimes. But, this one thing I know: God is good. God didn't bring cancer, and He is always there to bring beauty out of sorrow when people turn to Him. My mother's death was absolutely beautiful, even though it was also horrible.

I may not understand it all, but I know the one who does. I rest in His faithfulness, knowing that He cares and He will be there for all. And in the end, He will scoop them up and take them home to be with Him where they will hurt no more. Then some day it will be my turn. Jesus will wipe the tears from my eyes, and I will see all those who have gone on before in Christ. This is what gets me through all the pain inherent in a sinful world. Come quickly, Lord, Jesus!

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What does real love look like?

I just finished reading a beautiful blog post by an old friend. It described her last days with her husband in a very moving, yet hopeful way. You can read her post here: http://widowlady302.blogspot.com/

In thinking of this type of death, I always think back to the great love of my parents. Their love was a God story from the beginning, and her death was as beautiful as it was horrific. We knew she was going to go for 11 months before the time finally came, giving us opportunities to love one another and tie up loose ends. This too, was a gift from God.

Mom and dad were unable to sleep in the same bed, so we moved a twin in beside her. The spent many long hours in the night, alone in their own room, just talking and reminiscing and loving one another.

Each morning, my mother spent in her room, studying her Bible and listening to music and coming closer to God with each breath. I often think of this time with envy. Maybe her closeness to God was because she knew she would meet Him soon, but she was a godly woman from early on, and I aspire to be like her some day.

One of the songs she listened to was a tape of me singing. One day, about 3 months before the end, she called me in and said, "Angie, I want you to sing this song at my funeral." How I did it, I don't know, but God gave me the grace, and it was the least I could do to honor my blessed mother.

She was at WalMart a couple days before then end and sang in church the Sunday before. I had gone home for the weekend when I got the call. She woke up in horrible pain and they had taken her to the hospital. A tumor the size of a football had grown in her stomach and broken in two. Even though she had hospice and planned to die at home, her pain was too much. She was placed in a large room away from others where we could all stay with her all we wanted.

This time is one of my worst memories, but it is also one of my best. In many ways, it was the completion of a love rarely seen. It took three days for her to leave us, but dad stayed by her side the entire time, talking, loving, crying, praying, and eventually, letting her go. A couple of times we all left them alone in the room so he could express his grief in private.

I've never seen my father sob before or sense, and it was an experience that effected me deeply. He told her repeatedly how much he loved her as he sobbed over their clasped hands. At one point, he said, "Marilyn, if I had it to do over, I would marry you all over again." Then he asked, "Would you marry me?" She squeezed his hands to say yes, giving him something to hang on to during the long, lonely days of his widowhood to come.

November 11, 2005, with almost all her family standing around her, she left to be with the Lord. This date again showed the love God had brought to these lives. November 11, was the day he finally met her for the first time after writing letters back and forth from Ohio to Germany for a year and a half. November 11 was also the day he had surrendered to preach.

She followed him willingly through the good times and the not so good times, leaving behind family and much more to be a helpmeet to him. Thank you Lisa for reminding me that real love doesn't cut and run when the going gets tough. Real love loves through it all, to the very end. My husband and I have experienced this type of love, the love that shows up, and I thank God for the legacy my parents have given, not only to me, but to everyone who knew them.



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